So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
