Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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