just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
