I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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