My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
