I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
