Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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