His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
