I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
