i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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