Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
