Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
