These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
