Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
