how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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