he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
false alarm, still single
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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