what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
