It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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