scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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