So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
