So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i think my cat just said my name.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
