Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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