i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
