Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
