I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
