Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
