Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
