ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
