Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the day after is always just damage control
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
