Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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