Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
