She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
