I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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