The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
