people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
