It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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