just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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