North Korea, Best Korea!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
