when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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