I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
