I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
