White coat. Heels.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
