Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
