dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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