if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
