i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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