i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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