There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
