: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
