What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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